My favorite snack

My favorite snack.. well, it’s hard to choose “Favorite”, just one. I will list some based on categories. Basically, I love rice-cake, Duck and waffles. Especially, I like the one with black beans and pumpkins on white dduck. In fact, I like every kinds but not the ga-rae-dduck. I eat that but not enjoy eating it.

My favorite snacks are Ggul-ggoa-bae-gi in Korea and Doritos Cool Ranch in Saipan. I usually do not like something really sweet but Ggul-ggoa-bae-gi is reasonably sweet. I don’t like chocolates or candies. Whenever I buy snacks, I buy something that is not chocolate-ish. But sometimes when I want something sweet, I always get a chocolate with almonds such as Twix or Pereroroshe.

Oh! And I like hand-made or homemade cookies, of course not the chocolate cookies. Just plain cookies such as butter or lemon sugar are great. I always get something that are not sweet or too incentive. Oatmeal cookies are my favorite and I easily get sick of peanut butter cookies when I have more than two.  

For the candies, chocolates or jellies, I like sour jelly such as earthworm-shaped one. I do not know the exact name but I like sour jellies. For candies, lemon flavor is my favorite.

My favorite drink is Morning Sunshine. That is addictive. If I start drinking it, I cannot stop drinking it. I can end a bottle in few minutes. So whenever I drink it, I try to control myself. That is my brother’s favorite drink as well. I like everything that my brother tries and eats. I do not know why but this is the way I choose the menu. When we go to McDonalds’ or Subway, I always get what my brother usually gets. When we go to a restaurant, I cannot get the same kind of my brother because we cannot share if I do that. But he recommends me something looks yummy and I have never regretted for his choiceJ.

Okay. Let’s be specific. My favorite snack for summer is ice cream as you expected. When I go to Baskin Robbins 31, I get mint chocolate, yogurt, and green tea. These all three flavors come from my brother. But when I just get ice cream from a market, I get bi-bi-bic and Bung-auh-ssa-man-co. I love them :P Oh yeah! Also ice flakes! But I just get that when I go to café with my friends or boy friend.

My favorite snake for winter is fish-bread. You will understand what I mean by fish-bread if you are a Korean. When I was young, I hate red beans and foods that are all made from red beans. However, when I reached a certain age, I started to love red beans so I get foods that are red beans flavors such as bi-bi-bic and red bean ice flakes. The fish bread is filled with red beans. There is my favorite place for fish bread. That place has been existed since my middle school year. After school, my friend and I usually walked to there and got waffles, fish bread, dduk-bbok-I and o-deong.

Talking about food makes me hungry. I miss Korea! I really want to go back and enjoy my food life J

Paradise

My Paradise is a world without Christopher C C. (I will at least protect his last name for his privacy.)He always teases me, beats me up, even hits me and slaps when I look at him. He is a supplier. He gives me paper but these days every time I ask him for paper, his facial expression is.. It’s hard to explain. One time, I asked him to get my book for me. But he said “Are you using me?” He is that kind of boy.

The first time when I met him is in my junior year. I was a new student to Saipan International School. I easily became friends with Koreans but it was somewhat difficult to be close to people other than Koreans. However, Christopher was different. He talked to me (well, joked around as well) and we laughed together. He was kind, nice and always helped me. Whenever I have a problem with my pronunciation or grammar, he tries to fix it and encourages me to be brave with using English. By talking to him and chatting with him, my English improved. We facebooked, kakao-talked and kikied. But not anymore. I do not know why. Before, we even shared our (or only my) secrets. I like to talk to him and he is a funny boy.

This part is so important that you keep your eyes on my journal. He started to change! We were a good studying partner when we are juniors. I helped him with math and science while he helped me with English and History. He was an only comfortable native-speaker friend to me. However, I am not sure now. Whenever I ask him a question, he said “I don’t know.” or “I didn’t do yet.” Yeah. See? When I came back from Korea, I bought him a shirt and he used to enjoy wearing it. But! Not anymore! I have not seen him wearing it for few months. This is what happened to me and him. Oh! Yeah. He got me I-pod case as well. It was so sweet of him.

Now, we are seniors. After the break, I was so happy to see him. But now, whenever I ask him for something, his face goes like L. I understand. I might have asked him for something big. I might make him feel used by me even though I did not mean to.

Okay, since my journal is getting to the end, I will tell you how I feel. Actually, my paradise is not a world without Christopher C C. He has been a good friend to me and sometimes I feel sorry or bad for him whenever I ask him for paper or homework. As I go to SIS, I am glad to become a friend with Chirs even though he still teases me and sometime is childish. It’s just Chris. I just accept the way he is. He is nice(?), handsome(?), tall(?), and manly(?). He likes shoes, hot girls, orange juice in the morning, little peas, honey oats nutrients, and indulgent trail mix. Graduation is coming soon. I might not have a chance to meet him easily but I won’t forget him J

Last food I will eat before I die

The last food I will eat before I die is Kim-Chi Jji-Gae. I cannot say that it is my favorite dish but I think as a Korean and as a person who loves Kimchi, I would choose Kim-chi jji-gae with rice and other my favorite dishes such as jang-jo-rim with eggs of quail, bracken, and so on. I would be happy to eat homemade, more specifically, mom-made Kimchi Jji-gae but I am sure that my mother would not be right next to me when I am about to die. Oh, miso soup sounds good as well. I like Korean food and could be considered as a traditional Korean. I was considering eating seaweed soup because it is what mothers eat when they just give a birth. Seaweed helps blood to be purified and fresh. I think it would remind me of the time when I give a birth to my child and the time when my mother gave a birth. Or I do not know yet but I would rather eat something that I like when I am pregnant. I am not sure what kind of food I wish to eat during my pregnancy.  

Oh! Or another idea is that I will eat something that my child will make before I die. I will not say what I want to eat but they will make something for me before the moment of my death. I still have a doubt whether I could eat food or not right before the time of death. I might reject to eat or if I eat, I would rather choose something really light such as porridge or hot rice. I would be a grandmother, old and do not even have strong teeth to chew. I think this journal’s topic is somewhat weird because I do not know when I will die. It sounds perfect and the best scenario if I know when I will die. So I can eat something I want and be prepared to sleep forever. However, what if I die without knowing my coming death? Sounds sad but just be realistic. In that case, I would not choose what to eat and even do not need to worry about last food. Let’s turn the point. What about my mother or father? My parents? If either of them will know when they will sleep forever, I certainly want to make the best food as much as I can. Whether they want to eat strawberries in cold winter or not, I would do everything I can do for them to make them happy. Of course, I am trying to do my best to my parents now. As long as I am in Saipan by myself, I know well enough how important family is and how precious it is.

Anyway, Kimchi Jji gae is one that I want to eat before I die. Well, it could be somewhat strong to eat something spicy before I die but so what. I am a Korean and it is one of my favorite food. 

I wanted to be..

Since I was a little kid, there are a lot of things that I want to be. I wanted to be a pianist at the first time. I had played the piano since I was 7 years old. After school, I always used to go to piano lessons. That’s what I used to do for my free time. Since then, I had a strong mind that I should be a pianist someday. I had practiced so hard and enjoyed playing the piano. Since I was young at that time, my skill of playing the piano was not so good that I only played the songs that are for little kids. When I played the piano at the academy, I used to listen to someone else’s playing. There was a girl who is older than me so she could play the songs that are common to people’s ears. That made my ears happy and it was such a pleasant sound. By looking up to her, I always had a desire to master the songs and play it to people so their ears could be satisfied with my songs. However, since I have been getting old, there was no time to practice the piano and focus on the piano. On my free time, I had to put more emphasis on other main subjects such as Korean, English, and math than on piano. I finally quitted going to piano academy when I entered into middle school. And that is one of my regrets that I have done.

I used to want to be not only a pianist but also a magician. I used to read the books a lot when I was young because after my academy, I need to wait for my brother so what I could only do is reading a book at the bookstore which was located near my academy. But the books were all about comic books, adventures, and girlish books since I hate some genres such as science fictions and documents. Most of the comic books that I read were about magic stories. Those were written by true magicians who were popular and famous at that time. They wrote them for children, thus describing easily to understand so that children could be interested in magic and into magical power. I was the one whom they aimed for. In the comic books, both cartoons and real pictures of doing magic were written. The most fascinating magic that I could remember till now is to make rabbits disappear. Magicians have their hats and inside them, the rabbits were not there. However, when they chant magic words, we could find out that rabbits are inside the hat! What a wonderful thing! I still could not figure out how they did that but I know it is just a magic which is a trick. Everything that I read in that book made me curious so I tried to do them and as you know, the consequence was a fail. As I am getting older, I realized that my dream for a magician is such an unattainable desire.

 When I entered into middle school, I would like to be both a patisserie and a teacher. Even though I used to have few opportunities to bake something, I really would like to bake cookies and decorate cakes. One day when I was in 7th grade, my teacher gave us an assignment which is to make a future business card including my job, my work, and contacts information. I was in agony whether I would make it as a patisserie or a teacher. Eventually, I wrote Eun’s Bakery on the top of my card and designated me as a baker. When I came to Saipan, my opportunities to bake something such as brownies, cookies, cupcakes and so on were plentiful since I have stayed with American Family. Even I cook Korean food when I miss Korean food. As these are processing, I started to realize that I feel so happy and rewarding when someone tries what I make and say “Thank you. This tastes so good. :D” However, I also realize that it is too late to be a patisserie and succeed as a baker. I once heard that in order to become a baker, one needs to go to France or some countries where deal with traditional and professional baking. After I said to my mom about it, we decided to set my baking desire as a hobby.

Moreover, before I came to Saipan, the most realistic job that I hoped was a teacher. I love to teach and share my knowledge or help someone who needs me. I do my best when I teach someone to understand well. Therefore I used to tutor a boy who was in 5^th grade at the Joeten-Kiyu public library. But the problem is the subject. I have no idea at all which subject I will teach. I love history and English. If I become a teacher, I prefer working at middle school to working at high school. The country I will teach doesn’t really matter to me. Since I love languages such as English and Chinese, I also want to work at somewhere deal with English. I hope I would use English since I am studying abroad right now.

Right now, I really want to be an agent of National Intelligence or a prosecutor. The works I desire to do are to find out and drive out absurdities and irregularities such as corruption. It is like suspecting of corruption. I really love to do that and think it is so coooooooool. So that I can deal with those and find out what is wrong. As I wrote previously, these are what I want to do; therefore, I am trying to do my best to accomplish my goals. However, I am not sure what I really want to do and what major I will be in. 

My solution to poverty

My solution to world poverty is to save energy and food! I cannot really think of anything other than that because I am a high-school student.

My first encounter with poverty was last winter. I thought the only place suffering from poverty was Africa. However, I found out that poverty exists in the United States, the economically number one country. Last winter, I flew over the Western States to visit some colleges, grandmother’s sister, and my boyfriend. Some people told me that downtown San Francisco is a good place to hang out. However, when I went there, there are a lot of beggars on the street. I was really surprised. I saw some in Korea. Some are on the middle of the street but almost of them are in the subway stations. But in the United States, I never expected to see some beggars on the streets. There are plenty of them. The most surprising part is that they do not look shameful. So I realized that the United States is not the exception. After that, whenever I want to throw away food, I think of people who can not even afford this food. 

Poverty is largely based on a cycle of dependence, not simply a temporary condition of need with a one size fits all solution. Poverty is worldwide. To break out of the poverty cycle you need to become independent, or self sufficient. The old parable: If you give a man a fish then you have fed him but for that day, yet if you teach that man to fish then you have fed him for a lifetime. Rather than using very inefficient "aid in place" systems that we have now, which basically amount to a reward for failure, we need to alter the thinking entirely.

I always have a mind to save food and energy. Whenever I waste my food, I feel bad for people who cannot even afford to that.  I know this is not a smart solution but I cannot think of anything else than that. I think a can drive is a really good idea but only when more than 100 people gather up. I think a change in individual can change a whole society. 

After graduation

         It’s spring. Time flies so fast. As the time goes by, my heart gets more beating and more thoughts. The ending of high schools means a lot to me. Because I am not graduating from Korea, my 4 years of high school would be really rewarding. Simply saying, it’s the time to escape from Saipan. I am not saying that Saipan is not good but inappropriate place to study. So let’s plan out. On the graduation day, the day I am carving and carving to come, I will dress up and go to world resorts with happy or ambiguous face. Even though I am waiting for this day for 4 years, I will be both happy and somewhat sad. Just in case, I will try to hold my tears in order to take nice pictures with friends and acquaintances.

Now, I will really work on my last fantastic memory in Saipan. Before I start to plan out, I should be really careful to avoid coconut network, especially from adults. (Mr. Lee) Nobody knows what is going to happen after the graduation, we may have some troubles or fun. It is my graduation. I deserve some funs or something that breaks the law. I am willing to take those risks. After graduation, I will go to have dinner with friends or family. And then all the seniors (hopefully everyone) will gather together and get a room in an isolated hotel so we have low probability of getting through coconut network. Till now, Mariana Resort seems perfect. This hotel has totally different room systems from other resorts. I strongly believe that one of our seniors would get king car lemon tea which tempts teenagers for us. This night might be the last time for seniors to be together. I do not waste this opportunity. We will rock until the next day.

Then, it’s the day- time to go back to my motherland. The flight from Saipan to Korea would be the last one I will take because I don’t literally have any interests to come back to Saipan even if it’s for visit. I will arrive at Korea and my family would welcome me happily. The school and everything about Saipan is done. My 4 years of bearing are over. Everyone at school, each senior, is leaving for his or her own way. I might have lots of memories in Saipan but would not miss it at all. Well, I will miss some but will be thankful for people who were helping me in Saipan.

However, graduation does not mean that I am ready for college. I am uncertain for my future now because I am planning to go to college in Korea. I am really worried right now but what else I can do.  Just enjoy the rest of my high school year in Saipan. NO REGRETS!

Hamlet's world view

  The way Hamlet views the world is pessimistic and painful. As he knows about his father’s death and his uncle Claudius’s wrongdoings, he thinks of taking a revenge on Claudius for his father. When he is thinking whether he should kill his uncle or not, he states a long soliloquy. That (Act III, scene 1) might be the most famous soliloquy in Hamlet. He concludes that even though we live, we know we are going to die. And humans are born to suffer. Life is suffering and that is inevitable. Also he states that even though we die, we do not know what the afterlife would be like. (To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub, / For in that sleep of death what dreams may come / When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, / Must give us pause. There's the respect / That makes calamity of so long life.) So Hamlet just lets every suffering or pains go and flee away. (To grunt and sweat under a weary life, / But that the dread of something after death, / The undiscovered country, from whose bourn / No traveller returns, puzzles the will, / And makes us rather bear those ills we have / Than fly to others that we know not of? / Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, / And thus the native hue of resolution / Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, / And enterprise of great pitch and moment / With this regard their currents turn awry / And lose the name of action.) 

  Hamlet values on God or bible. And as he decides to take revenge for his father, he considers his father as an important person. However, I am not sure whether he thinks mother as he does for his father. But I can see their unseen love when I watched movie and the scene where mother is proud of Hamlet who is playing against Laertes. Next, Hamlet values his one trustworthy friend, Horatio. He speaks all the plans he has and some thoughts in his head to Horatio. Throughout the play, we watch the steady breakup of the beliefs on which Hamlet’s worldview has been based. Already, in this first soliloquy, religion has failed him, and his warped family situation can offer him no comfort. After learning the truth about his father’s death and the nature of his mother’s incestuous passion for Claudius, Hamlet’s worldview shifts radically and unalterably, as we see in the first soliloquy (Hamlet, Act 1, 2) Also as we see here, [T]here’s a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. / If it be now, ‘tis not to come; / If it be not to come, it will be now; / If it be not now, yet it will come: / The readiness is all: / since no man has aught of what he leaves,/ what is’t to leave betimes?*, we can see that he also concludes that the readiness is all. 

F-4 of this school

F-4 of this school

Our school’s F-4 is DJ, Mr. Lee, Mr. L, and Mr. Tessen. DJ is the leader of that group and he is really rich. He has big influence on others and has all the power. He thinks he is the most handsome in the F-4 group. But who knows? He is realistic and has cold heart. Also his mother really loves him as he is a mama boy. Mr. Lee is considered as the quietest one in the group. He likes to read books under the coconut tree at sunset. He is really romantic and enjoys reading books especially poems. He is like a word-magician so he can use advanced words and is good at using literary devices such as metaphor and simile. He attracts women by his choice of words. As you imagine, he wears glasses and always goes around with a book. Mr. L is the most mysterious one. He has nice body shape that could draw people’s attention. He works out hard but also enjoys music and playing musical instruments especially piano. He looks kind and treats people really well even though he meets someone for the first time. He is not that active but he could be active or lively when the circumstances require him to. Mr. Tessen is an easygoing person. If unfamiliar people look at that group, they could not consider Mr. Tessen as a part of member. He does not stick to his group but is very active and social. He likes to talk to others and discuss following the current issues. He is really picky about food so does not want to try new food such as other ethnic or traditional food. He likes to drink coke and eat fruits especially strawberries with sugar powder. All 4 of them have great friendship and work together. When something happens, they gather up and have a conference to solve and figure out. They all have their unique characteristics. As they work together, work is really prospering and people continue to rely on them and get knowledge from them. They are literally more beautiful than the flowers. They not only value the appearance but also value the impacts on people. They always try hard and do their best to give knowledge they have to others.

The most popular one is Mr. Lee. As I mentioned above, his choice of words attracts people and make them listen to him. He likes dry humor. DJ is not easy to see at school. No one exactly knows what he is doing but he seems busy. Mr. L always stays outside under the sunshine. His skin is dark and almost from sun burn. Some girls like it because they think it is hot. Almost everyone likes Mr. Tessen and no one criticizes him or talks behind him so much.

DJ, Mr. Lee, Mr. L and Mr. Tessen are F-4 of Saipan International School.